Rising Up From The Ashes

Okay, so coursework is done. I have a week without classes. Couldn’t sleep well last night. Kept thinking about someone but did not want to call and disturb him although I was tempted to. Once I start obsessing about stuff it is hard for me to meditate and just relax the mind. Grrr… City is working on the street so the trucks woke me up early. Bastards! Mind numbing survey to pass a short bit of time.

Not nearly as long as my usual but then I don’t need to procrastinate today.

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Is anything annoying you right now?
nope, not at the moment

Who do you always answer the phone for?
My number one is the only person.

What are your favorite shoes?
that depends entirely on my mood and what I am doing. That is why I have so many.

Where was the last place you bought something?
Holiday gas station. Got gas, yogurt and a salad.

Are you usually a happy person?

I have plenty times that I am happy but do not think that it is necessary to always be happy. There is much to be learned from the other emotions as well. I find that the only people who are happy all the time are rather daft and miss out on much around them. It makes no sense to me to ignore the other options, the other experiences, even if they can be painful and unpleasant at the moment. To me it makes more sense to learn to accept anger, sadness, etc than to just suppress them in favor of happiness. Rant done. On with the inane questions.

Are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment?
no, I gave up on that. I love him.

Does that person like/love you?

Yeah, I think so

Do you always answer your texts?
Pretty much

Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
a beer at the bar and then food and coffee at HT

Last time you received flowers?
November

Does sex mean love?
no

What movie(s) never fail to make you cry?
I have to fight it at a lot of the sappy romantic ones. It is not the movie so much as the fact that it reminds me that stuff like that never works out for me.

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
No clue but it does not seem likely.

What are you wearing tomorrow?
Nothing special enough that I have to plan in advance. Some variation on jeans and a tee shirt. Probably black.

Do you get bored easily?
No. I find that people who get bored easily tend to be boring people. I can entertain myself for hours, days even. Probably longer.

What is the best thing to happen at school/work lately?

That would have to be the surprise visit from my drunken #1. Hell, the kiss alone was worth seeing someone for but I have been missing him and it was nice to talk for a bit and grab dinner.

Did you make anything to eat today?
just mixed up a protein drink, not actual cooking

Do you do chores around your house?
if they get done it is because I do them. Since I live alone and don’t have regular company, I slack off on some of them as well.

What is on your wrists right now?
nothing

Do you wear eyeliner?
often but not always

When will you hang out or see the person you like next?
Don’t know for sure. As of right now, we don’t have plans until Terminator Salvation.

When was the last time someone yelled at you?
yesterday. Again I flipped off some guy who was driving like an idiot and he decided to follow me to my job and flip out. I am an equal opportunity person when it comes to giving people the bird but only men seem to feel a need to chase me down as a result. They do seem especially nuts this spring.

Where is the worst place to be stuck waiting?
in a crowded room of any kind

Is it hard for you to get over someone?
Not normally but I have been having a hell of a time lately. Still am broken and it has been over two months. Miss him constantly. He is something special.

How many mirrors are in the room with you?
three

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Heat peanuts

When was the last time you cried really hard?
Saturday

Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
sleep in

Does the thought of marriage scare you?
Not marriage in and of itself. What scares me is settling into a mind-numbing rut with someone. Being in a relationship when we take each other for granted, stop appreciating the little things, stop exploring and learning new things, stop listening to or paying attention to each other. Where everything becomes routine and mindlessly dull. However, I do not think that a long-term committed relationship with a partner has to be like that and I am afraid to ever do anything like that again. Becoming a zombie of that sort is what scares the crap out of me. I am however looking for a partner in adventure. Someone to travel and explore both the world and the inner mind with.

What is your current mood?
kinda sad and lonely, kinda peaceful and relaxed, kinda anxious about the future

And apparently very wordy! I’m noticing a trend with the paragraphs. Guess now that classes are done and I am not so busy with distractions I am in the mood to chat. Missing pretzel talks.

What is the cutest animal on Earth?
I am really a sucker for all baby animals and kittens rate right up there. However, solely in the interest of including a cute and unusual picture here, I will say the pangolin.

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Are you spiritual, religious or oblivious?
very spiritual and sometimes very oblivious

How open minded are you?
extremely

Do you believe in morality?
yes although my life would be so much easier if I could get over that

Do you associate sexuality with negativity?
nope although I have seen and experienced plenty of people use it that way

How about views on drugs?
I think they should be legalized. Every last one of them. I think individuals should get to decide what they do with their bodies, not rich bastards who sit around making rules for the rest of us to follow while they do whatever they damn well please.

Who is the oldest text in your inbox from?
JJ

When was the last time you had your hair cut?
Saturday I finally got all the split ends trimmed off and my bangs back to normal

Would you rather have friends with benefits or a relationship?
relationship

Last person you were in a car with?
Jennifer

Should you really be doing homework right now?
amazingly enough, no

Do you know anyone that drinks?
I don’t know that I currently know anyone who doesn’t drink. I probably drink the least out of everyone and I drink plenty.

When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
Earlier today when BSing with a friend about racism crap. Laughed so hard I cried.