Monday, April 27, 2009
End of the school year survey (part 2)
Down to seven days and I still have not written a single paper.
What is finals week without a little pressure???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's your favorite color gummy bear?
the red ones by far! The other colors are just there to get in the way of inhaling the reds. I need to find someone else to pawn them off on.
What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex's body?
That depends entirely on the person in question. I am currently smitten with a tush. Have to like the person’s eyes though no matter what.
What do you smell like?
gardenias
Are you in love with someone right now?
yes
What's the last thing you watched on TV?
CSI
What's the last video game you played?
Wii bowling
What can you hear right now?
YouTube, my current procrastination method of choice…
What does your hair look like?
terribly messy, didn’t feel like fixing it today so it is just in a pony tail on top of my head
Does the person that you like know that you like them?
yep
What is most important about a person?
honesty/trust
What do you like to do in your spare time?
read, play on the computer, watch movies, play word games, BS with other people, learn something new, walk in the woods
Would you consider yourself smart?
I like to think so but have plenty of times when I am an idiot as well.
Do you think that you are strong?
yes in many ways
If you were in the hospital on life support, would the last person you kissed come to see you?
I think so.
Have you ever been called Prince/Princess?
nope, never
What about angel?
Ha! Certainly not.
When was the last time you slept at someone else's house?
it’s been more than a year
Are you a bad influence?
I sure try to be. Most people are far too uptight about the things that do not matter and far too cavalier about the things that are important.
Are you afraid of falling in love?
I was but I finally decided that if I was willing to risk my life for him then I would risk my happiness as well.
Where were you last night?
at Hard Times doing everything but homework
Why did you get your last ticket?
I have only ever had one ticket back in 1986 for speeding. 36 in a 30. Amazing considering I have flown past many a cop in my time and on my last trip to NYC averaged 93 MPH.
Ever considered nipple rings?
Yes although I am afraid that I will never think of them the same after listening to the new Ron White CD.
Who was the last person to call you beautiful?
I don’t know. It has been a while.
Do you miss any of your old friends?
yes a couple of them
Is there anyone you can spend every minute with and be happy?
I don’t want to spend every minute with anyone. Not because of the other person but because I often need to be alone to think and reflect.
What is your favorite candy?
dark chocolate ChocoLove bar with cherries although I am also hooked on the dark chocolate covered strawberries from Godiva *drool*
What is the best ice cream flavor?
chubby hubby. Still could go for a peanut buster parfait too… why are these things always full of food questions???
What are you wearing right now?
silver Docs, rolled up jeans, silver skull belt, black sweater
What was the last thing you ate?
almonds
Have you bought any new items this week?
books. My weakness is books.
What were you doing at 7:45 AM this morning?
I was sound asleep
What is one random thing you've always wanted to do?
I want to have a funeral for someone special and bury him alive. Random enough?
Would you rather see a shooting star or a rainbow?
shooting star would give me a wish but since mine don’t come true anyway I may as well enjoy the rainbow.
What are you listening to right now?
Do people get shocked by how old you are?
Sometimes. I'm always told I look much younger than I am but they may just be being nice to the old lady too...
What would you say if your ex told you he never liked you?
Fucker did. I just want to know why he wasted both of our time.
Do any of your friends have kids?
Yes, almost all of them do.
Do you play games on your cell phone?
Soduku almost daily
Favorite snack food?
Nachos, loaded. Although I hate soggy chips so usually I just make a layered dip and then enjoy.
Role model?
was my dad
Fav drink?
Patron XO Café. Heavenly! (thanks Number 1!!!)
Are you reading anything?
always
Craving anything right now?
well now I am thinking about a PBP and chocolate covered strawberries…
how's your current boy situation?
don’t have one
If you were given a canvas and watercolors, what would you paint?
a landscape is really all I ever seem to come up with when using watercolors. That or something abstract just to play with the colors.
What is your favorite fruit?
cherries with pineapple coming in a close second
What is your favorite kind of cookie?
warm from the oven Toll House chocolate chip cookies. With milk.
What was your favorite meal growing up?
tacos!
What one person or thing reminds you of the 80s?
big hair
What do you waste your time doing?
apparently surveys and finding old videos on YouTube
What issue are you sick of hearing about?
Swine Flu and how it is going to wipe everyone out
What is your favorite dish at a Chinese restaurant?
I have lots of favorites but really have been craving cream cheese wonton, shrimp fried rice and egg foo yung.
How many children do you want?
not planning to have any of my own although I may adopt someday
Is your heart broken right now?
yes
Are you someone who worries too often?
yes
Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
yes I have had more male friends than female
Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
Either someone special or alone. Friends are good but I don’t want them around all the time.
Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hate?
yep, I sure have
Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
no clue
Have you ever talked on the phone in the shower/bathub?
yeah
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
yes many times
Do you like to cuddle?
love it!
How did you get all your scars?
all my scars? I am covered in them and several I don’t even recall. The important ones tend to be those on the inside anyway.
How much cash do you have at the moment?
$7 and some change
Would you ever get a tattoo with someone's name on it?
hard to say but I might.
Did you ever have tea parties when you were younger?
no but I have enjoyed several adult themed ones
Have you ever shaved someone before?
yes. The good bits even.
Do you have any analog clocks in your house?
yes, a few
Where do you go when you want to get a REALLY good sub sandwich?
if I want a really good one I make it myself
What is the lowest grade you ever received on a report card?
F
What magazine do you read or look through most often?
Wired
What style of house would you like to live in?
log cabin
If your nails are painted, what color are they?
my fingernails are sparkly purple, my toes are a dark plum with white, silver and black patterns on the big toes
Would you ever date someone with a different skin color than you?
I have
Have you seen any of the Saw movies?
yes, didn’t start until Saw III and now they are among my favorites
Where do you sing the most, in the car, the shower or other?
car, it is the only place I sing
Boxers, briefs or boxer briefs?
boxer briefs
Can you do the alphabet in sign language?
yes
What was your favorite childhood show(s)?
Kung Fu, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk
Have you ever trusted someone too much?
Is there such a thing? I am slow to trust but tend to think that there either is trust or there is not.
Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
I had no clue that it is supposed to have a thing to do with someone’s sexuality. It is my understanding that many men do so for the pleasure and satisfaction of the women they go out with.
Do you talk dirty to people?
not just randomly but I have. In fact, that gives me another song I need to go look up on YouTube...
Write some lyrics from the song you’re listening to.
“Cause baby we’ll be
at the drive-in,
in the old man’s ford,
behind the bushes
til I’m screamin’ for more
down the basement,
and lock the cellar door
and baby, talk dirty to me”
Do you think too much or too little?:
way too much. I can overanalyze the shit out of some innocuous comment for days. Obsessive? Far too often.
Would you date a friends ex?
nah that is just asking for trouble
When did you last eat pizza?
it’s been a couple weeks. What is it with all the food questions here? I am soooo ready for supper!
Have you had sex with more than 25 partners?
no
What do you do when you wake up from a nightmare?
I am a big girl and have to suck it up and accept it. What is there to do?
What body part aches you the most right now?
my back and neck are a little stiff but not really achy. I’m good.
Would you kill a spider?
no
Do you like to take walks?
usually but I have to know about it ahead of time. Taking a walk in strappy little sandals or high heels will likely just ends up with me complaining. I may even utter something about a “forced death march.” 
Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
yes, and based on how my homework is coming along, I suspect I will have another one of those occurrences before the week is up.
What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
12-grain bread and grape jelly
I have mellowed
I am planning a trip to Japan at the end of the year. Want to do 3-4 weeks over winter break. When I travel I hate to be a stupid American who knows nothing of the language or the culture so in preparation I took sumi-e classes in the fall and am now studying ikebana and batto-do. I will, of course, still stink at these arts when I go but at least this way I will have some rudimentary knowledge of them.
I was talking with a friend today who joked that I will now be able to chop off your head and then arrange flowers for your funeral. I claimed to have mellowed over the years and that instead I will now arrange the flowers as a gift and not chop your head off until you make fun of my novice skills.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
End of the school year survey (part 1)
Only ten days left in the semester and I still have 13 papers to write (I need deadlines or I put it all off until the very end!) plus two exams to study for.
Of course, what that *really* means is that I will be spending an obscene amount of time messing around with hideously long surveys like this one. Skip or enjoy. Either way it served its purpose in allowing me to procrastinate even further.
~~~~~~~
Do you sleep with the TV on?
Not normally. I refuse to have on in my bedroom although I do on occasion find myself having dozed off in front of the tube. Been sleeping much better lately and my living room chairs are just too comfortable. Do usually sleep with it on in hotels though since I don’t sleep well and it gives me a bit of light so I don’t break my neck stumbling around in the dark.
Have you ever won a spelling bee?
haha…never! I am terrible at spelling and must write a word out to get it right.
Have you ever stuffed your bra?
Nope, never needed to. The girls came in way before I ever wanted them. Just got in the way when I was playing sports. Hell, they still do sometimes although now I consider them worth the hassle. :)
When is the last time you took a bubble bath?
a couple weeks ago although I almost did last night
Who are you thinking of right now?
my number one.
Do you talk in your sleep?
I have done so a couple times but it is very rare.
Have you ever flown a kite?
No. Dad always got my Easter kite stuck in a tree and I never got a chance. Had planned to buy myself one this Easter and give it a shot but then wasn’t really that ambitious when the day rolled around. Part of me wants to go do so now and another part still ties it to an Easter thing. Someday.
Have you ever eaten green eggs and ham?
yes. Made them a couple times just for fun.
Have you ever asked for a horse?
yes, I really enjoy riding.
Missing someone right now?
yes
When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
it has been too long
What are 3 things you always bring with you to places?
phone, lip goo, book
Last time you ate sushi?
last week
What song are you currently listening to?
What was the last thing you ate?
Cobb salad. Yum!
Is there something you want that you can't have?
of course
Last movie you watched at the theater?
Monsters vs. Aliens
Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house?
yes but it is not advised. I may or may not let you in if I am not expecting company.
Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Lorena
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
yep
How many different colors are you wearing right now?
4
If you could have something back right now, what would it be?
Thing? None of the things really matter anymore but I guess my stolen cell phone. No, scratch that! I want my pictures back.
How is the weather right now?
Perfect. sunny with just a few high, thin clouds. 75F with a slight breeze. I would much rather be out there hiking or riding my bike.
Does anyone call you babe?
no, at least not to my face
Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
Depends. The insect? That would just piss me off. They should be free to flit about as they wish. The feeling? Yeah, there is someone who can do that.
What are you doing besides this?
writing a paper, chatting with people I know, watching the lab, listening to YouTube
Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
movie, work, may get my hair trimmed and/or pedicure, grab a few groceries, pay bills. I lead an exciting life!
If your friends warn you about someone, do you listen?
Guess it depends on who they are warning me about and whether they are basing the warning on a feeling or something they know.
Have you made any new regrets this year?
I make tons of mistakes so I am full of them.
When was the last time you had a headache?
no clue. It has been years.
Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
Peanut buster parfait. Or anything involving hot fudge.
Do you know anyone who has been arrested?
yes, the list is long
Do you have any friends whose parents will no longer let them hang out with?
Rather old for that crap now. My friend’s parents actually really liked me. One was going to help pay for my college out of HS but I wouldn’t let her. But parents didn’t know me would often refuse to let their kids near me just based on my looks.
Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
no
When did you last receive money?
I got paid two weeks ago but otherwise am not lucky enough to just ‘receive money.’ Would be nice though. Maybe I’ll set up a PayPal account…
Is there someone you will never forget?
yes
Do you get drunk every weekend?
nope. I don’t even have a drink every weekend much less get drunk.
Would you ever date a bad kisser?
I don’t think I would if he was actually bad. I find it is usually a pretty good indicator of how good a lover the person is.
You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, what happens?
We’d talk. Maybe watch a movie. If I were lucky, I’d get another one of those kisses…
What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Currently I sleep smack in the middle
Do you like competition?
yes I do tend to be competitive although it makes me not much fun to play games or team sports with
Has anyone ever called you a bitch?
do you even have to ask?
Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
only playfully or in fun
Have you ever been told that you were going to hell?
I have been told that by many, many people. I suspect they are right.
How do you feel about your hair right now?
My bangs are far too long and the color is faded. Gonna try to color it this weekend without turning my bathroom purple. It is getting harder now that it is getting longer.
Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?
yes
When’s the last time you said you were fine but you really weren't?
Who knows? I don’t keep track of those things but just let them go. Why carry it around with me?
Do you sometimes wonder what the world would be like without you?
yes, I have done so.
Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you?
you bet!
Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
I sure do.
Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past three months?
No
Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
Yes. Had bonfires there. Fucked there. Camped there.
Do you think two people can last forever?
yes but then I may have just watched too damn many movies and read too many books
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
yes
When is the next time you'll hug someone?
no clue
Who will be the first person you call tomorrow?
Not planning to call anyone. I am not a phone person and not close to many people either.
Do you have a best friend to lean on?
no
When do you go to sleep?
lately I have been going to bed around midnight or 1am. Early for me.
Have you ever taken a picture of yourself kissing someone?
no
Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
not really although we have bumped into each other on occasion since our families are still friends and we would get invited to the same weddings and funerals
What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
rock
What is the best thing about your job?
the flexibility and now they pay for my classes
Where are you going on your next vacation?
Japan unless I manage to squeeze something in before then
What is your favorite smell?
jasmine, sex, crayons, thunderstorms, cherries, chocolate, steak…mmm…I am getting hungry!
What is your favorite sight?
the eyes of someone I love
Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers?
hmmm…anything is possible
Have you ever played Spin the bottle?
not exactly. We didn’t have a bottle so we used a knife. Yes, I was twisted way back then too. Does that surprise you?
Have you ever gone camping?
Yes. Used to do it often and even in the dead of winter.
Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Yep. Burned the hell out of the girls too.
Have you ever had a stalker?
Currently dealing with number 4.
Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one?
yes although I don’t usually last long
Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Yes, heavy squats can be a bitch.
Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
Yes. I should have just chopped it all off.
Kissed more than one person at a time?
yep
Is there anyone that you feel completes you?
Don’t know that I would say he completes me but we were great together in that we each had strengths that balanced out the other’s weaknesses.
What's your favorite soup?
French onion
Are you insecure about anything?
of course
Do you have any friends you need to catch up with?
yes, quite a few. I have been hiding lately.
Are you happy with your appearance?
most of the time
Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
planning to do so tomorrow
How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
Guess it depends on how important the issue is and who the person is. I can be far too blunt. Other times I say things that were meant to just be silly but instead come out as an insult. Or I can hold it in because I simply don’t like or trust you enough to share.
What was the last thing you wrote down?
was practicing my kanji
Do you know any potheads?
quite a few
Are you a pothead?
no
What can you hear right now?
just this
Do you have your tonsils and wisdom teeth?
yes to all
Anyone jealous of you or anything you have?
Probably. My life is better than many.
Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn't want to date?
Yes but then I am very fussy about who I go out with
How many funerals have you been to in your life time?
I lost count years ago. Hell I once had a three month period where nine people died. All individually, not in some mass accident.
Have you ever done something you promised yourself you wouldn't?
*sigh* yes
Is someone mad at you right now?
Probably. I do believe I am pretty nicely situated on my family’s shit list.
Do you think you can love someone without trusting them?
not really.
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
the father of the groom
Do you think making out is slutty?
WTF? Did a 12-year-old write this?
Three hours ago, were you touching a person of the opposite sex?
Sadly, no
What's something that bothers you about girls?
they will fuck over their friends and other women to get the attention of some guy they don’t even know
Is there someone who meant a lot to you at one point and isn't around now?
of course, I am not a child.
Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you before?
I suppose. It would depend on how he/she hurt me and whether or not it was intentional. I find it is hard to be hurt by someone I don’t care for because that person’s opinions and actions mean nothing to me.
Who was last in the shower with you?
God, I suppose the husband back when he was still my husband. No "fun" shower in years. Stupid thing is that it was my own fault for missing the offer when it was last made. Dummy!
What is more important in a relationship, happiness or trust?
Trust.....trust is the key to ANY relationship. Without it there isn’t really much of a relationship. Happiness comes and goes as life gets in the way.
Did you learn anything from the last big mistake you made?
I’d like to think so but only time will tell.
Why did you last cry, in front of who?
the why is confidential and there was no who
Has anyone made you feel like crap lately for something you did?
guess it depends on what you mean by lately but no
How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else?
I was happy to see them. Hope it means he has moved on and I won’t ever hear from him again.
Do you own a studded belt from Hot Topic?
Well, I have several studded belts but they are from Harley Davidson. Cooler and more expensive!
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
200+
Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Yes, some people even had to push their way past us and it is probably on the school's security cam too.
What is the last movie you watched?
Salo
Do you have any scars on your legs?
lots of them
Has anyone told you they don't wanna ever lose you?
yeah
Do you consider yourself creative?
hell, if anything I have a difficult time thinking IN the box
Has someone asked you on a date in the past week?
yes
Has someone ever made you a promise & broke it?
of course
Honestly, do you really love the last person you said "I love you" to?
yes I do
Are there any saved birthday cards in your bedroom?
yes, I can be far too sentimental
What kind of shirt are you wearing?
black tee with an obnoxious saying on it. Probably not work appropriate but I wore it any way.
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
many, many times. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes just because I wasn’t thinking things through fully.
How often do you drink water?
constantly. I am practically floating.
Do you read your horoscope?
when it is handy but I don’t go out of my way to get it
What does the 4th text in your inbox say?
“Our lives are messes ;)”
What was the last thing you highlighted?
this survey to cut & paste it
What color are your bedroom curtains?
black velvet
What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
black, ’92 Exploder
Closest framed picture to you?
one of the dog I had before Ruko, Klaus
Last time you had someone cook for you?
Easter some friends cooked dinner for us all. Just for me? It has been months.
Have you ever applied for welfare?
no
Last time you used hand sanitizer?
I don’t think I ever have. It strikes me as one of those things that is just a little too paranoid. I don’t mind a little dirt.
What is the last place you bought pizza from?
Davanni’s although I really could go for Galactic Pizza now that you brought it up. Thanks a lot… >:-(
Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
a couple years. Loved ‘em but they closed down by me. Thanks again. :(
Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call?
Guy
Do you write notes on your body?
sometimes although I like writing notes on other bodies much better
Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe?
yes, was just listening to him on my way into work this morning
Do you have nice eyes?
well, they work and I can see with them and they are decent enough to get me compliments on occasion so I’ll have to say ‘yes’
Are you close with your mother?
nope! Can’t stand her.
Did you speak to your father today?
nope, he is dead
When was the last time you had your hair cut?
last July although I have trimmed my bangs in the sink a couple of times. Debating whether I am going to do that again or actually get it all reshaped.
What are you freakishly obsessed with?
it is not a what, it is a who? I am about ready to join the “Men are stupid and women are crazy” cult. Sad but true.
Have an Ipod? what color?
yep, still have my little, hot pink shuffle (thanks again Amanda!)
Do you know how to dance?
Depends on the style. I have been known to do so when the mood is right.
What was your favorite childhood cartoon?
Marvin the Martian or Scooby Doo
What is your favorite thing that is green?
cash!
Have you ever been in a fight?
I may have had to kick an ass or two in my time.
Is the last person you kissed mad at you?
not that I know of
Where do you go when you need to just get away?
I just drive aimlessly.
If you were an evil dictator, where would you rule?
everywhere!
What do you need to get right now at the drug store?
bandaids. I’m all out of Powerpuff Girls. They better have something good!
Have you ever broken a pinata?
yes, I am going to try again in just over a week
Worst bathroom you have ever been in?
you know I love my Hard Times Café but their bathrooms are disgusting!
Friday, April 17, 2009
Laughing Out Loud
Friday, April 03, 2009
On getting old
As you may already know, I am 41. Much older than I ever thought I would live to see. Funny thing is though that most people guess me to be much younger than that. I am still carded on occasion (and not just by those who check the IDs of everyone) and have even gotten into arguments with people who insist I am using a fake ID because there is no way I am “that old.” Most of my friends tend to be younger than I and at my 40th birthday party several could not attend because they were not old enough to get into the club. More than once people have guessed that friends of mine, who are in their 20s, are older than I am. Incredibly amusing to me, only slightly so to them.
Although most of my grey hairs are kept under wraps by the various hair colors I continue to enjoy, I have far more wrinkles than I would like and the girls are certainly not as perky as they used to be so it cannot be the physical. I suspect the reason is because of attitude.A few weeks ago a friend flew in for a visit. When I mentioned that things were shitty, he responded with, “Well, you still have your job and a steady income so you are doing better than lots of folks.” What the hell? I don’t define myself by my job. There are so many more important things to me in life than money. I was referring to being sad about the state of my relationship with that special person in my life. Something that actually means something to me. Fuck! Sad thing is that a couple years ago this guy felt the same way. He turned 30 last year and apparently drank the Kool-aid that same day. Years ago I used to earn the big bucks. Put on my several thousand dollar suit every day, grabbed my equally expensive briefcase and raced off to work bright and early. My competitive nature enjoyed the challenge. I was good at it. Went to Vegas about once a month just to blow off steam. Would wander into a store and buy $500 watches in every color so I didn’t have to make up my mind which was my favorite. A trip to the book store required multiple trips out to the truck just to carry all that I had purchased; even though I would never have time to actually read them. I bought boxes and boxes of shoes that would never be worn. Used cash to buy myself a ring that was worth as much as a new car and went back a month later for matching earrings. When I went back the next month for the ruby pinkie ring I finally realized that I was out of control. My life sucked. I wasn’t happy. Had no meaningful relationships, no time to relax and do the things I enjoyed, but I had money burning a hole in my pocket and more *stuff* than I knew what to do with. Quit the job. Quit busting my ass. Quit thinking about money. Quit thinking about myself all the time. As those of you who actually know me are aware, if anything I may have gone too far. I am now too financially irresponsible. I’ll give my last $20 to a friend who needs it rather than pay my own bills. I take people out to dinner to celebrate engagements, divorces, new jobs, new homes, new pets, anything. I’ll spend money I don’t have on a present that I think someone will love. Stupid and immature? Sure! I am broke most of the time but I have a hell of a lot more fun. I started weeding out people who are draining. “Friends” who take more than they are willing to give. Drama queens and the uptight. Users and abusers. Time for them to go. If we like each other, I’ll do anything for you. If not, then let’s stop wasting our time. I don’t like to carry grudges. Don’t want to have to distrust someone, force myself to spend time with them or worry about what is going on behind my back. I decided that either people are important enough, special enough, for me to forgive and forget or we should just go our separate ways.
It seems that most people start to grow old in their mid to late 20s. It solidifies in their 30s and it is all downhill from there. That is when most people decide that they have to grow up. They feel that they must pick a direction and commit to it. They decide on a career. They decide that it is time to get married and so they pick out someone who is handy and who has also decided that it is time to get married and they ‘settle down.’ Yeah, there is a good way to begin your life together, by settling. Hell, romantic relationships scare the crap out of me but I would much rather find someone willing to risk it all and commit to an adventure together than to settle for a damn thing. Sure, settling is safer, not so scary, and much more mature. It is perhaps the grown up thing to do but oh so bland. No wonder they can’t stand each other in a couple years. I say, grab a backpack and run off to another continent together. Sure, you will cuss each other out for getting lost, be cold and miserable in the rain when you realize that neither of you packed a jacket or an umbrella, or get frustrated when he/she wants to tour yet another museum but what memories will be made. Who knows? Maybe you will grow closer. Maybe you will decide that you cannot stand each other. Either way, it sure beats falling into society’s predefined roles for people. He must have a 9-5 job, take out the trash, mow the lawn, change the oil in the car and, most importantly, earn enough support the family and buy a house. She must do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shop, remember birthdays for both his and her families, perhaps have a job (but god forbid she earn more than him!), and care for the kids. Of course there are kids…that is what people do. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with any of that. If it is what you really want. What bothers me is that people are pressured to make these decisions so young and then feel stuck for the rest of their life. They start to define themselves by a label, even if it is one of their own choosing, and don’t feel free to explore or learn new things. “I can’t do that. I am a wife/husband/parent/scientist/salesman/banker/whatever.” Fuck that! I didn’t forget how to change a tire when I got married. Sure as hell did not find myself with a burning passion to clean house. Certainly did not cut all of my male friends out of my life. I love science and chemistry in particular but guess what, I also have fun drawing up astrological charts and enjoy numerology. I have superstitions and good luck charms. I believe in magic and ghosts. I know, they are not scientific. I don’t care!
People get old because they stop trying new things. They stop learning. They insist on fitting into their mold and don’t want to look foolish experimenting with something different. They decide on what they like and don’t like when they are young and then just repeat the same shit over and over again until the day they die. They are friends with people who are just like themselves and are never exposed to the odd, the unusual, or anything new. There is no excitement, no mystery, no amazement, no challenge. They have settled into routines that could be done by a robot. Content but dull. Lacking struggle. Lacking failures and successes. No wonder they seem old; they are the walking dead.
Some people don’t like me and get frustrated because I refuse to define myself (actually, there are lots of good reasons not to like me). I refuse to pick a role, a label, a place in society, and stick with it. I collect undergrad degrees because so many different things interest me. On top of that I take community ed classes on other, lighter, subjects. I am always in the middle of at least three books I am reading just for fun. I can never learn enough. When I say I am throwing on my boots and going dancing, you never know if it is Docs and I am heading to a mosh pit somewhere or my Tony Lamas for some two-stepping at a country western bar. Salsa classes start in a few weeks… (although I won’t be wearing boots for that!) I can put on my white linen suit, call the VIP line at one of the fanciest restaurants in town and go out to dinner tonight or I can climb out of my truck that I slept in overnight, wearing the same clothes from two days ago and stumble into my favorite coffee house to chat with people who just rolled into town on the train. Both are good ways to spend my time as far as I am concerned. Hell, I might do them both in the same day. For that matter, I may just wear the torn jeans and raggedy tee to the fancy restaurant and the suit to the café, just to shake things up. I do stuff like that. Drives most people nuts! I like to mess with their preconceived ideas.
I have had friends who say to me, wistfully, “Oh, I remember when I used to do that.” These are people who are 27 years old! What the hell??? Fine, if it was something you used to do but quit because you no longer enjoy it but otherwise why would you ever stop? To fit into some mold that your parents, social class, teacher, significant other, religious figure chose for you? If you want to be an artist and your parents want you to go into business, that is their problem! If your neighbor doesn’t like that you practice throwing your whip in the backyard, fuck him! If your wife thinks you are nuts for dressing up like Gene Simmons and going to the KISS concert, too bad! Go anyway and have a blast! (she’ll think twice when you show her you have mastered that tongue thing) I will never understand people who don’t want the people they are close to to have different interests. Who think that now that you are friends/lovers you should stop doing some activity that he/she is not involved in. Hell, I have exactly the opposite problem. I want to learn about that interest. Maybe I would like it too. Not because I think we should do everything together, that just gets irritating and I value my time alone, but because it might be fun. I have learned lots of new things that way and picked up several new hobbies over the years because of the exposure.
When we are young we try new things all the time. Someone says, “Hey, you wanna go rollerblading/wind surfing/build a fort/climb the water tower/taste this dog food?” We say, “Sure!” We grab cardboard or rope or nothing and we are on our way. Never mind that we have no clue what the hell we are doing. As we get older we worry about looking foolish, getting hurt, how much it is going to cost, if there will be enough time to get our homework or house work or other tasks done. Kids just want to spend time with their pal and try something new. Looking goofy and skinned knees are just the price to pay. Kids know that there is always time to memorize the geologic periods, write a thank you card, or vacuum later on. Sure, once in a while mom/dad/teacher yells at you but it was soooo worth it! I think it is a shame that so many people lose that. Perhaps I am the one missing out but I never want to become so grown up and responsible that I miss those opportunities and am afraid to take those chances. I would rather stay immature, and if need be, alone, than stop trying and learning new things. Can’t imagine why they keep wanting to give it all up.
I may end up a crazy old cat lady but I just know that my grey hair will be dyed every color of the rainbow and I am going to have all those cats tethered to a flashy wagon pulling me around the neighborhood. I want a horn too!
