Rising Up From The Ashes

Twenty-eight days ago, a couple people I know approached me about being their personal trainer. They would pitch in and renew my lapsed gym membership if I would workout with them and teach them what to do. Awesome! I love my gym and couldn't afford to go so, even though it meant dragging my ass out of bed at 5:30 a.m. Monday through Friday, I jumped at the chance.

Ha! One person didn't even last a week ("You make me work too hard…") The other quit last night. ("I'm not seeing any results and don't have time for this…" yeah, like an hours and a half in the gym was going to cancel out years of sloth in just a few weeks. And let's not even discuss how well she was following the eating plan…) So, yea! I now have my membership paid for and get to go at a much more reasonable hour of the day.

That alone put me in a good mood as I drove there this morning but the miscellaneous antics of the others at the gym kept me chuckling though my entire time there.

Mr. I-need-four-weightlifters-to-help-me-get-my-shorts-on was back. I always find the twenty-minute dressing routine to be worth quite a number of giggles. Today I suggested he find some high school bullies to help with the super-wedgie he was in need of. Only one of us was amused. *shrug*

Then there was the beefy guy who forgot to finish putting the weights on his bar. Just as I walked past he tried to start the bench press with 100 on one end of the bar and only 45 on the other. That was ugly and ended up with me tossing my stuff to the ground and grabbing the bar he was twisted underneath. Instant 'in' for me with the 10 a.m. crowd along with loads of teasing for 'space case.' Ha!

My favorite part though was the gym owner training a new member. Oh so mean but still it was amusing as hell to watch. Had it been anyone other than the owner I likely would have intervened – as it was I had a hard time refraining. The new member is vision impaired and it seems that he cannot see at all. Dan has apparently never worked with someone who is blind before. While leading him through the gym he kept taking short cuts and running this man straight into pieces of equipment head on. Kaplow! He would hold out a handle for the man without saying a word and smack the poor guy right in the nose with it (at least three times). Bang! Another time he went to hand him a free weight but before the new member could get its orientation and a proper grip on it Dan let go and it fell on the guy's foot. Smash!

Okay, I'll admit that I may be desensitized by years of violent cartoons as a child and even so a big part of me wanted to intervene. The thing that stopped me in the end was that the guy never said a word about any of it. Just sat there with one hand holding his nose and the other clutching his toes. Amazing! Maybe he thinks this is why we all complain about being sore the next day after a workout… I'll be shocked if he ever shows up again.

Finally, to keep the theme of the day right up to the end, when Gary went to make me my protein drink as I was ready to leave he was too busy chatting and forgot to put the lid on the blender and sent protein, cocoa, banana and milk flying all over the place including the paperwork he had out. Oops!

Yep! I can see I will like to workout out even more now. These guys are a riot!