Rising Up From The Ashes

Since Dave died, I had forgotten how much I enjoy late night drinks and philosophical discussion with a friend. The trick is to get just drunk enough that you will blather on about anything. Much more than that and it seems that people just like to argue about crap – which can also be fun if your companion know what the hell they are talking about. Rare but it does happen.

My friend is a big proponent of the do-whatever-makes-you-happy school of thought. So what if you made plans with someone for tonight? if a better opportunity comes up, go for it! To hell with the other person as long as you are doing what makes you happy. You can always get together some other time. One night stands? no problem! So what if they have a significant other? the person can't be all that great or this person wouldn't be on without them and willing to fuck you. Besides, you are only looking for a few hours of fun, not trying to 'steal' them away.

I will be the first to admit that this person is generally much happier than me. I wish I could do it. Become one of those people who think only of themselves first and foremost. I honor my commitments and keep my word. Struggle with concepts of honor and morality. Worry about relationships and the people I care about. Happiness only comes in around number ten on the list of importance.

I suppose that my priorities are at least part of what makes me a rather crappy Domme. The ones I know who are good, the ones who are adored by their subsmissives are all the ones who do put their own happiness first. Fuck everyone else. Fuck responsibility. Fuck the world. Me first. Which is not to say that they are not concerned about their subs, it is just much lower on their list of priorities, not equal to their own.

*sigh*

I suck. I can't even do bad-ass evil bitch well.